Ciao, bella!

2011-12-31T00:19:00.001-08:00

Being alone for most of winter break is not as enjoyable as I thought it would be. I thought I would like having some time to myself. But, nope... I feel like I'm disappearing... disconnected with the world. I think I'm just sick of being alone in my room. No one's barely around... Ugh. This is me wallowing in my frustration, sadness, and loneliness.

To sleep, perchance to dream

2011-08-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

A vivid image. Yet, at the same time it's so very faded. A lingering touch. The feeling of being loved. I can't see your face. Why can't I? Am I to fill up the image of that face with my reality? Sadly, I have no face to fill that picture with.

nightmare

2011-07-20T08:13:00.001-07:00

I had a nightmare that my brother died... It was the scariest thing ever... It hurt my heart. I was bawling and didn't want to admit it. I kept trying to wake him up... I think it makes you realize how important family is. I need to tell my family that I love them more often.

Homesick

2011-05-30T10:56:00.001-07:00

Two more weeks of school to get through! Yayyyyyyyyyyy!

2011-05-05T20:41:00.001-07:00

Ugh... I suck. And I need a job.

2011-04-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget how fortunate in life I truly am. It doesn't always take something horrible to happen to realize that. Sometimes, it takes something wonderful to fully grasp how lucky I am.

2011-03-18T16:44:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I think I have depression. Waves of sadness will go over me suddenly. No real reason or cause. They just do.

...

2011-02-26T09:13:00.000-08:00

Funny how my feelings that I expressed in my post on Vday, even up to the point where I questioned whether I was just being paranoid or not, were actually true. I could sense it, but I didn't think it was actually true. But it was. Funny, isn't it?

...

2011-02-24T19:27:00.001-08:00

I knew it.

...

2011-02-17T01:26:00.001-08:00

The days get better.

Why do I feel super alone?

2011-02-15T00:21:00.000-08:00

This has nothing to do with Valentine's day. I'm okay with being single. It's whatever and I'm used to it.

But with friends. It's like.. I think I'm closer to people and then things happen when I realize I'm not really... So what am I ? An indirect friend....? An acquaintance? Anything?

I try to be the friend that someone can text anytime just because they want to talk to them or someone that gets texts or calls to hang out, but the more and more I pay attention, the more I realize that most of the time, this isn't so... Am I always the one saying that they want to do this? That I yearn to be included? Am I always the one initiating the text conversations? Can people trust me with secrets? If not, then why not? I keep secrets well and yet I hear none.

Somedays, I feel like people get annoyed with me, but I don't understand why. Did I do something wrong? Or am I just paranoid? Yet, the feeling is always stuck in my mind.

Why do I feel like I have no close circle of friends anymore? I feel like I'm dispersed among many, yet I'm just a mere shadow, a semblance of my presence.

It's so easy to put on that happy face. That nothing is wrong. 'All is well' is the look that I have. 'I'm happy.'

Dream

2011-02-08T06:27:00.000-08:00

Snow everywhere. It's a blizzard. A icy, white door. It's ginormous. Two men walk through the door in hopes of arriving to their destination safely. They have a little girl with them. Suddenly a sasquatch appears. Menacing and angry. Angry at the fact that they men have disturbed his peace. He beats them up. Not the girl. She's safe. They are thrown out from the door. The men are left with taking the other path through the dark forest. Trees all around. Branches everywhere. The trees are dead. From the side, one can see the sasquatch following slightly. Making sure the travelers don't return. As they walk through the forest, it's so dark. Dark, dark, dark. Nothing to see. Silhouettes of trees. Finally, a cave. Where did the girl and the other traveler go? The man walks through the cave. Dark and musty. Finally, he sees a long box in the cave. Questions it, but walks further. As he walks out a section of the cave, a face emerges out of the shower. He does not see. I hear myself screaming. I feel like I'm watching a horror movie. I'm there, but not there. The man sees the vampire. I wake up.

Automobility

2011-01-31T20:55:00.000-08:00

A random thought occurred. I'm currently reading Republic of Drivers: A Cultural History of Automobility in America. With driving, comes an identity. An association of freedom and mobility. In a way, it reminds me of the lack of freedom I have with my lack of driving skills. I think getting my license needs to be my priority this year. I hate the idea of relying on others for the rest of my life....

Internal fighting

2011-01-23T02:43:00.000-08:00

There is a literal internal battle within me. I think my body is trying to fight me or something of the sort. I feel like my body is having all sorts of problems. Sometimes the pain can be unbearable and it hurts to breathe. I've been putting off going to the doctor. I guess I'm always scared of finding something wrong with me. Don't think I can put it off much longer, though.

Future?

2010-12-27T03:31:00.000-08:00

Time passes by quicker these days. As time passes, I slowly inch closer and closer to graduation. Graduation. It's a scary thought. Sometimes I become momentarily paralyzed with the fear of what I'm going to do with my life. I know I often like to make it seem like I know what I'm doing. But truthfully, I'm lost. I'm lost and I'm flailing. I'm terrified that I'm going to end up moving back in with my parents and just becoming stuck. With my years in college becoming a waste. I think that's my greatest fear. Forget the chance that I'll never be in a relationship (though that's my other great fear). Because honestly, how am I to believe that I'll meet a guy when it's been 20 years and nothing has happened? But that's for another time. Just forget about any other fears that I have had before. What I'm worried about is my future. Who will I be in 5 years? Where will I be in my life? Will I be doing what I set out to be? Somewhere in the film industry?

For a while now, I've been intrigued with the idea of doing the Peace Corps. It's always been stuck in the back of my head, but I've always pushed it aside into the back of my mind. I don't know how I would deal with 27 months of being away from home. But lately, as I become more afraid of life after graduation, the idea of joining the Peace Corps seems more appealing. I think I'm really taking it into consideration now. I want to do something meaningful in my life. All my life, I feel like I've always been lazy, not doing anything meaningful, but just coasting through life. Now's the time to do something special, amazing, worth being proud of, and self-less. And I can't help but think about how much of an amazing experience it would be to do something like this. To be in a foreign country, helping others, and help change the world. I think it's something I'd really like to do.

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind lately...

Movie list

2010-12-15T21:28:00.000-08:00

I have taken it upon myself to watch tons of movies this break. I think I'm still in that 'I-don't-want-to-leave-the-house-and-only-watch-movies' kind of phase. It's nice, though. I'm been yearning to do this for a long time. Now that I have my Netflix back, I can finally watch movies all day. I'm glad I can go through this without being depressed. Before, during the breaks, I would be so depressed and cry everyday because I lost a lot of connection with friends back home. But I've finally faced it, and I accept it. I'm glad for this time to myself. So now I'm working on watching all these movies that have been on my list but I never got around to actually watching.

I will be updating as I watch more movies. This is more of a reminder to myself of what I watched.

1. A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
2. Annie Hall (1977)
3. This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006)
4. Bright Star (2009)
5. The Prestige (2006)
6. Passport to Paris (1999)
7. Leap Year (2010)
8. Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
9. The Philadelphia Story (1940)
10. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)
11. Top Hat (1935)
12. Tron: Legacy (2010)
13. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)
14. Easy A (2010)
15. She's Out of My League (2010)
16. Despicable Me (2010)
17. Black Swan (2010)
18. Inception (2010)
19. When in Rome
20. Anastasia
21. The Swan Princess
22. New York Minute
23. Swing Time
24. Men in Black
25. Salt (2010)

run away with me

2010-12-05T20:42:00.001-08:00

Run away with me.
Let me be your ride out of town.
Let me be the place that you hide.
We can make our lives on the go.
Run away with me.
Texas in the summer is cool.
We’ll be on the road like Jack Kerouac
Looking back,
Sam, you’re ready,
Let’s go
Anywhere.
Get the car packed and throw me the key.
Run away with me.

- "Run Away With Me," The Unauthorized Biography of Samantha Brown

love.

2010-12-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

I think that... one day I'd like to experience love. True love, or some semblance of it. I think it'd be nice. I've never had any thing even close to it in my life. I've never been in a relationship in my life either. I wonder if that says something about me. I don't know. But really. I think it'd be quite nice.

Christmas Preparations

2010-11-14T19:29:00.000-08:00

My roomies and I love Christmas so much that we have decided to decorate our apartment for Christmas. We couldn't wait until after Thanksgiving and I'm so glad for that. Christmas is my favorite holiday and all the feelings I get from it... ahh, it makes me so happy. So here are our decorations! Enjoy!

Haven't updated in days.

2010-10-21T18:40:00.001-07:00

Whoops. I never even blogged about my adventures in Dublin and Paris. Those will be coming up soon!

In the meanwhile, check out my radio show's website!
http:///savoirlemusique.kuci.org

An end to all things Cambridge

2010-09-02T17:20:00.000-07:00

This is it. In less than an hour, I will be heading to the bus stop with Kayla and Annalyse, which will take us to Stansted Airport, which we will then embark on a journey to Dublin. We'll be spending two days there.

It's hard to believe that my study abroad trip is over. It felt so long ago that I first touched foot in Heathrow Airport. Yet... time passed by so quickly. With new experiences in a new country and continent, I've had to step outside of my element and truly put myself out there. And now, I've come out with two even stronger friendships than I did when I first started out. I've also began new friendships with many people and for that... I'm truly grateful.

I'm tearing up as I write this because well... goodbyes get to me. I may not show them in person, but writing this brings out the emotional side of me.

Cambridge, you were really good to me. I was able to experience Edinburgh, Scotland, London, and Stonehenge, and Bath because of this program. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd do some of the things I did. I think if you told me that I was going to take two grueling hikes up Arthur's Seat and Trossachs, I'd have no idea what you were talking about and think you were crazy. Such experiences tested my willpower and I came out even stronger. It's been 5 amazing weeks. It was a short vacation, but powerful and full of great experiences.

Being here... probably got me obsessively addicted to fries, or chips as they call it here! That's probably not a good thing, but I love fries, so I'm okay with that.

I'll definitely miss being able to walk everywhere, despite how tiring it gets. I'll miss hearing British accents surround the sounds of the busy streets. One thing I won't miss is almost being hit by a car every
time I cross a street. I'll miss being provided wine at formal dinners. I'll miss Charlie and Andy, who were not just figures of authorities or even adults, but friends who I could pick on and who would pick on me back. I'll miss the PA's, who were just as crazy as us. I'll miss Revolution, where it made every Tuesday insanely memorable and not memorable all at the same time. I'll even miss the bouncer who would remember me and no longer card me. I'll miss Trailer of Life for giving me a piece of home, through its chips with cheese and burgers. I'll miss Adam from Trailer of Life, who probably thought we were fat ass Americans for going there every single night. I'll miss the buttery and the dining hall, where I felt like Harry Potter eating at such lengthy tables. I'll miss Club Fez, where the dance music would always get me hyped and guys wouldn't try to feel up every girl. I'll miss feeling so classic and British here. I'll think I'll even miss being afraid to walk on the grass. I probably won't even step on the grass when I get back to the states. I'll miss my room, where I had my own mini kitchen and own study room. I'll miss the vivid blue skies where it was so clear, I would think I was looking at a painting. Most of all, I think I'll miss the cloudy, grey days where it would rain randomly.

Thanks to everyone for making this one of the best experiences of my life. I will never forget you and my experience abroad. You will forever be engrained in my memory and my heart.

I'll miss Cambridge like I'll miss a longtime friend.

But here's to new adventures. To Dublin and Paris. May you be just as good to me as Cambridge, London, and Edinburgh were.

Packing

2010-09-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

As I sit here packing, I realize how utterly depressed and sad I am. Now... I already know I'm an emotional wreck on many occasions, but that's just how I get with things. I hate endings, even if I know they're supposed to lead me to somewhere grander and greater. But right now, I feel the end. I feel the goodbyes coming and I just can't handle it. Cambridge has been so good to me and I'll never forget the people and the things I've done since I stepped foot off the airplane in Heathrow airport. I've had so many great experiences and I know there are more to come. Over the years, I've become accustomed to packing. Trust me, I've packed far too frequently and I thought that I had just become non-emotional about it. Turns out I was wrong. As I pack today, the sadness in me grows greater because it means this is all ending. I'm so glad to have made new friends and become even closer with the ones I've already known. I'm going to miss the buttery. The cloudy days filled with rain. And so much more. I'm happy I have Dublin and Paris to prolong my stay in Europe because I would be an even bigger emotional wreck than I am right now if I were leaving right after the program.

Last night at Revolution

2010-08-31T16:03:00.000-07:00

We began a tradition the first week we came to Cambridge. That tradition was to go to Revolution every Tuesday in order to take advantage of their 2-for-1 drink specials. We have stayed true to our word and tonight was our last time ever. It has gotten up to the point that the bouncer remembers me and doesn't even card me anymore. I'm definitely going to miss Revolution. We have had some great memories. Our last time there was a great time, with the exception of the creepy men that bombarded our table. But all in all, Revolution was a great place and provided with me many memories, particular drunken ones.

This night, particularly, led to a crazy night, involving me and Kayla taking care of 3 different drunk people. Thus, we were unable to go to Club Fez. But the night comprised of crazy events that probably should have happened in a course of 6 nights. I would tell of what actually happened, but I don't want to embarrass my friends, so let's just leave it at that.

Also, we met up with these group of guys we had played 'Never have I ever' with a couple weeks back. It was such a surprise to see them! We had that we were never going to see them again and that thought made us sad. If I had to meet any group of gay men in all of Europe, these guys are definitely the one. They were all so sweet and funny! I'm so glad we got to see them one last time before we left Cambridge!

Cambridge Botanical Gardens

2010-08-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

Kayla and I explored the Cambridge Botanical gardens and it was pretty huge. It's weird to think that such a place exists randomly in this town. But, then again... a lot of things have surprised me here, so I shouldn't be THAT surprised.

I love gardens. They're one of my favorite types of places to go to.

Chile

2010-08-30T02:45:00.000-07:00

I went to Chile in the beginning of my summer with my friends Elaine and Lea as a kick-off to my European adventure. I know. I'm such a world traveler. I didn't have a camera with me, so my friends had to take pictures of me. They only recently uploaded the pictures so I couldn't share any of the pictures before. But now they are uploaded and I can share them with you guys! I only brought one outfit with me, though because I lost all my luggage. I managed, though. You can tell from the smile on my face. I also ate coconuts everyday there. They were just so delicious.

Overlooking the Chilean skyline with my coconuts.

Just chilling in a Chilean cemetery with my coconuts.

I fail at punting.

2010-08-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

The first time I punted... I was pretty good at it. Today, I faileddddddddd. Also, it started raining on our way back from punting. Then Kayla accidentally got the punting stick lodged into the mud and we were drifting away from it, so they had to use the umbrella to get it. At the same time, a swan was drifting towards us. As Annalyse and Kayla tried to get the stick, I was left on the boat with the paddle. Sadly, I got none of this on camera because I was too pre-occupied with the fear of getting attacked by the swan or drifting away from the girls.

Fearing the scary swan as it started us down!

Yeah... Got stuck in a tree.

After that little adventure, we got ice cream. Foolish idea. As soon as we got out of the ice cream store, it started pouring. Large gusts of wind blowing around. Let's just say... RIP to my umbrella. Trying to walk back in the windy rain, eating my ice cream cone was pretty much a bad idea.

forever21

2010-08-29T03:05:00.000-07:00

I have to blog this as fast as I can before I forget. Had a dream that there was a forever21 in Europe, so a bunch of us went. It was technologically AMAZING. When you first enter, you grab some vanity mirror and then it drags you into the store automatically. I remember someone saying Julia Roberts. Don't know why. Like... the dressing rooms would suck you in and there would be this gust just blowing at you the entire time. Why that would be in a dressing room, I don't know. Ask my subconscious. Then, I was running around trying to find the clothes, because I couldn't find a large selection! WHYYY DREAM FOREVER 21! WHYYYYY! And then, the elevators were really weird, it was just like one of those moving platforms that go up and down and you would have to take different ones to get anywhere and I was getting confused. Then suddenly, someone screamed to get off one of the platforms and everyone bustled down and it disintegrated. We all screamed. Some sort of malfunction. There was this hot guy there and I was talking to him and we kept meeting by chance.

Weird dream, I know. I must have shopping on my mind still after spending a lot at Primark.

Our first ACTUAL weekend in Cambridge

2010-08-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

It's our very first weekend in Cambridge! The other times, we were in Scotland and Bath/Stonehenge. It was pretty relaxing and I'm really happy. Basically, we spent most of the day eating, shopping, walking, and talking. The essential verbs of a girl, I guess.

We started off the day with lunch at Auntie's Tea, a restaurant that we had been meaning to go to, but never had the chance to before. And wowwwww! I can't believe we had it so late in the program. The tuna cheese melt panini was the best I've ever had. So goood. We also got attacked by a scary bee, which was an adventure in itself.

On the way to shopping, we had to pass through a park and there was a large patch of sunflowers! It was really pretty. I can't believe we had never passed through the park before.

After shopping (no photos of shopping because I was too preoccupied) we went to a restaurant called Giraffe. We just got smoothies and ate topped potato wedges which were super delicious.

After our day, we pretty much just sat around in my room and talked. We got burger and chips from Trailer of Life, which is a staple in Cambridge student/drunken life. Adam, the guy who works there, is pretty much our homie. While we were there though... some creepy guy was creepin' on Kayla. Obviously, she felt super uncomfortable, so I had to say something and made him go away. Thankfully he did, and that was the end of that. We slept pretty early because we were so tired already.

Goodbye painting.

2010-08-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of painting class with London artist, Thomas Newbolt. And I have to say, I was really sad when I realized it was over. Despite his unconventional ways, Thomas was a really nice guy and he tried to teach us to see differently. Not in the way that schools have taught us, but in the way that we have always known, but never talked about. Life is beautiful and many things that we see are beautiful, even though we don't really notice it nor think about. We had to paint a landscape, but first we went on site and drew a sketch of it. I really liked the end result of my painting, despite being rushed. It was the first one that I felt really proud of. So, I'm glad for that.

I imagine myself painting more in the future. Hopefully, I keep up with it because I really like it.

Afternoon Tea (so British and classy)

2010-08-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

The program had an afternoon tea session planned for us. It included tea (of course), finger sandwiches, scones, and cake. It was delicious and it got me full for a really long time. We had tea in the Thomas Gray room of Pembroke.

The building had a coat room!

A drawing in a cupboard.

Since we were so full from afternoon tea, we skipped dinner time at the buttery. We decided on having a late dinner and went to Gardinia's, which is this greek place that is open really late. It was pouring on our way there, so we left our umbrellas on the porch while we were waiting for our food. So sad, though. After we got our food, I had noticed that Kayla's umbrella wasn't next to mine anymore, so I asked her if she had her umbrella with her. Turns out, some beezy stole her umbrella and she had to walk back soaked. She had taken off her jacket to prevent her food from getting soaked. That's devotion right there. So, to you, umbrella-thief, you're an asshole for making a poor girl walk soaked in the rain!!!

Formal Dinner and Club Fez

2010-08-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

Before we went to Club Fez, Annalyse and I had to capture some more footage for our documentary and Kayla came along. For our break, we got Costa, some coffee chain in London that we had been craving the entire time we've been here. I'm glad that we got it because it was delicious. We all got mocha flakes. Yummmm.

Afterwards, it was time for another formal dinner with the drinks reception before. This time, the courses weren't as appetizing as they had been before, but it was still free dinner. So yay! I didn't drink all night because I was still recovering from the night before/the morning of.

Appetizer: Sea Bass

Main Course: Parmesan risotto topped with an onion fritter

Pudding (dessert): Mascarpone cream with white chocolate gelato

Tea with cream

As an end to our night, we went to Club Fez because it was international night. The music was really fun and I love dancing. Dancing gives me a sort of natural high and I love it! It was a foam party, but we left before they started the foam.

Here's to my most fucked up night.

2010-08-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

Short story. Basically, I got ridiculously drunk for 2for1 drinks night at Revolution because we pre-gamed and the drink I had was too strong. All of this resulted in me throwing up for four hours the next morning. I pretty much died that night. And here is my night. As you can see, my eyes get progressively smaller and smaller as the night goes on.

When in London: A weekend in London

2010-08-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

Our first free weekend in Cambridge, and so we decided to spend that weekend in London! One can call our weekend a re-enactment of the Olsen Twins' Winning London. Something, I proceeded to make references to quite a bit during our trip.

After taking multiple forms of public transportation (taxis, trains, and tubes - the essential T's of transportation), we checked in at Best Western. Let's just say that there was a complication with Best Western and it involved a bit of stealthy sneaking and me having panic attacks.

The first thing we decided to do was go to McDonald's because well... we just can't quite leave home in our hearts. McDonald's is the closest thing we have to home, so that is where we went. Plus, it's quite convenient for price and taste. Derricious! But of course, since we are in Europe, their McDonald's is not your typical McDonald's like we have in the states, which is typically characterized as being a shithole. Here in Europe, it's all about class. That means, putting center pieces on the tables and probably paying a shit tons for interior designers. I kid you not, they are this classy.

We decided to walk off our fatty-ness by taking a walk through Hyde Park where we spent a few hours. Probably more than we were supposed to, but oh well. It was Hyde Park.

This deserve its own explanation. My childhood dreams have finally come true. I speak this with the greatest form of appreciation for life, nostalgia, and my childhood. We got to go to the Peter Pan statue in Hyde Park. You see, for me... Peter Pan represents everything in a child. Growing up is scary. That is why you'll see me still retreat to many qualities of my childhood. That is why I still and always will cherish Disneyland and Disney movies. So, peering up at this statue, I was enthralled.

After the statue, we continued to explore Hyde Park for a bit.

Afterwards, in order to fulfill the nerd inside, we headed to the Natural History Museum! It was really fun, but the dinosaur exhibition was kind of claustrophobic-feeling. Did not appreciate that at all.

I believe I can fly.

My fear of deep-sea creatures, of course.

I got the whole world in my hand.

That night, we drank a lot, but none of us even got a buzz. And it was half a liter of vodka! So there was that fail of a night. We ended up just being too tired and went back, ate a ton of chips, and knocked out.

The next day, our last day in London for our entire trip in Europe, we made our way over to Piccadilly Circus. It's amazing. I hear it's just like New Yorks' Times Square. I bet it's even more amazing at night. We went souvenir shopping for our family members and ate another classy McDonald's, of course.

Eros statue.

I found China town in London!

Classy McDonald's!

Afterwards, we decided to go see St. Paul and all it's holy grandness. Church was being held, so we didn't go in, but we did take many pictures of the outside.

We got really tired after visiting St. Paul, so we decided to go home. And that concludes our weekend in London. :)

Old photo

2010-08-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

I was looking through old photos and I found this photo of me. I thought it was odd in the composition. Especially the random dolls. Anyway, I thought it was interesting, so I thought I'd post it. It really makes me miss my long hair, though.

Winning London: A day in London town

2010-08-19T06:02:00.000-07:00

Today was the day of our day trip in London. Most of it was planned by the program. Sadly, they did not provide us breakfast, but I'm okay with that. I ended up buying tons of croissants from the croissant stall in the Cambridge market. The nice man also gave me 2 free croissants because he's awesome. Definitely must go back there because his croissants are delicious! Surprisingly, I didn't sleep through the coach ride to London. Anyone that knows me knows that I will asleep anywhere, anytime. Charlie came over where we were sitting to equip me with a camcorder. I was going to film London as a test run for our documentary. He said it'd last a good forty minutes. Hm....

We had to drop off a group of students off near the Shakespeare Globe because they had to do a workshop there. Poor Annalyse. She didn't want to go. That left me and Kayla from the wolfpack. We got dropped off at Trafalgar Square. For a couple of minutes, I thought I lost Kayla and I was freaking out. Turns out, that dumb beezy followed people into the British Museum thinking that was where we were going to start on our adventure. In reality, Andy and Calum went in to use the bathroom. The sky was gorgeous that day, looking as fake as it could be. I'll definitely miss the picturesque skies when I leave.

We decided to go on a walking tour with Andy, one of our program directors, which was basically a walk over through the Mall and to Buckingham Palace. The Palace was gorgeous. It's crazy to think that the Queen of England lives there. We were so close! The funny thing is that I had two people come up to me and ask me where we just were after we were walking away.

The Mall

Me in front of Buckingham Palace.

After arriving in Westminster, we went back with Andy in order to pick up Annalyse up at the Globe Theatre. Since we had been to London before, Andy let us navigate our way through the tubes. We are officially tube experts! Hahaha. Along the way, we realized that Andy had no clue where we were going! Went through Buroughs Market three times total as a result. He kept trying to deny that we were lost. I guess even in Europe, men are still the same. They refuse to stop and ask for directions! Apparently, Andy tried to tell Charlie that I was the getting them lost! Pshh. Definitely not me.

Andy: "I know where we're going!"

After an hour and a half or so, we finally made it to the Globe Theatre where Annalyse was waiting. I felt bad making her wait so long, but I'm glad we actually made it! We were starving, so we made our way to Covent Garden. I was so enthralled with that because it was where My Fairy Lady was filmed, which was such a good movie (if you forget the first hour and half). Finally had my first pasty!!! Chicken and vegetable. It was delicioussss.

Yay pasty!

We walked back to Westminster and looked (yes, just looked) at Parliament and Westminster Abbey. We were too cheap to pay to go inside for anything. But it was still a great sight to see. It's huge. Someday, when I'm not running so low on money, I'd like to see the inside of it. I love going inside churches and abbeys. By the way, I asked Andy what the difference was between a church and an abbey and he didn't know.

Some beezy took my shining moment in the photo!

We wanted to do that typical London tourist photo, where you take a picture next to one of those fluffy hat men in red suits and attempt to make them laugh. Couldn't find where any of them were staying still. The closest thing was some guy marching back and forth. Close enough.

Went back to Buckingham Palace to show Annalyse it's awesome-ness.

After a while, we were kinda clueless as to what to do for the rest of our trip in London. Ended up just sitting down and thinking, and referring to our handy dandy map! Basically, it just ended up with us taking the tube to Tower Bridge, walking around and getting tea from Caffe Nero.

Finally, it was time to eat dinner!! The program provided us each with a pizza, salad, bread, and a drink from Pizza Express.

After being super full, we all headed over to the Globe Theatre for a production of The Merry Wives of Windsor! I'm really happy we saw this play because it was hilarious. I've always been intrigued with the Globe Theatre ever since I was young and I had helped my older brother make a replica of it. Finally, ALL of my Shakespeare wishes have been fulfilled. It was a dream. During the intermission, the program people made us switch with the people that were standing. It was kind of unfair that they didn't get everyone the same seats, but I'm over it. The three of us got really close to the stage and literally had our chins resting on the stage. It was amazing.

The Globe Theatre

The three of us being sad that we had to stand.

We were basically leaning on the stage.

Formal dinner and an informal night of drunkenness

2010-08-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Formal dinner means a night of not having to pay for dinner and having delicious tasting food. Tonight was the night. Before formal dinner, we have a drinking reception where they provide everyone with white wine. Basically... I got buzzed off of two glasses and from then on... it was over. I was gone.

Drinks reception:

Formal dinner:

After, there was some party after the formal dinner. We were supposed to dress as something starting with a P. P for Pembroke, which is the college we attend. I failed. I think I was supposed to be a... prude? I don't remember anymore. Drinks were also served at the party. You can see where this is going...

To end our night, we went to Revolution. It's been a decided tradition between Kayla, Annalyse, and I that we go here every Tuesday for it's 2-for-1 deal and we have definitely stayed true to our word. If I wasn't already drunk at that point, then this further made me more drunk. I remember for a good ten minutes, Annalyse kept telling me how beautiful I was and how smart I was. I was quite flattered. Love that girl!

Towards the end, a group of gay guys asked us to play a group of 'Never have I ever.' It resulted in us finding out many weird things about people. I won, though. Thus, I was probably the most innocent at the table. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But the guys were so nice! I hope that I see them at least one more time! They were so precious and really sweet. One funny thing that happened was Kayla kissing a gay lord. Weird shit happens on drunken nights. I love it.

Kayla was obviously fucked up. With that, I shall leave you a photo of all photos to end an epic night. She jumped/attached a bush, ran onto the forbidden lawn, and proceeded to do a cartwheel. This bitch was messed up.

Recent news:

Kayla wrote on my wall saying:

can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant? cuz there's leaves all over my room

I thought it was hilarious, so I submitted it to textsfromlastnight.com. They accepted my submission and we have made history!

Here's the link. Enjoy!
http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-19810.html

Inuit song

2010-08-16T16:40:00.001-07:00

"I think over again my small adventures, my fears, these small ones that seemed so big. For all the vital things I had to get and to reach. And yet, there is only one great thing, the only thing. To live to see the great day that dawns and the light that fills the world."

Dublin!

2010-08-16T16:08:00.001-07:00

Just booked and planned everything with Annalyse and Kayla for our trip to Dublin. We'll be going there for the two days before we head to Paris. Super excited! Four countries in six weeks. I never thought I'd be able to experience such a thing. I'm excited to go to Ireland!

Stonehenge, 360° of rocky mysteries

2010-08-15T13:59:00.001-07:00

Today, I saw Stonehenge. Let me repeat that. I SAW STONEHENGE! That is something I never imagined I would ever see in person. The experience seemed surreal. I mean, yeah... it can get pretty boring since you're basically just taking pictures around the site, going around in 360°. But in hindsight, I was able to see something that billions of people know about, but are never able to see in person.

Stonehenge really is a peculiar site. I know nothing about it. The biggest reason why I was so interested in it was because when I was in middle school band (yes, I play the clarinet), we played this piece calling Stonehenge Overture. The piece was simple, but it was haunting and beautiful. Ever since then, I've been fascinated with the idea of the Stonehenge. I was finally able to see the Stonehenge and I can check that off my list of things to do before I die. I probably won't return to see it, since it's something you really only need to see once. But that moment will be unforgettable.

Bath (where the old people retire and boredom is rampant)

2010-08-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

On our arrival to Bath, we immediately headed to our hostel. We had about 7 girls in our room and apparently, we got really lucky. Our room was huge and equipped with two bathrooms. It was really pretty, also.

I was fascinated with the window. The blue curtains decorating the large window was absolutely stunning. I feel like the photo below really captured its beauty.

Our hostel room window. Classy!

Bath is a beautiful town, but I'm not going to lie... the majority of us were bored and had no idea what to do. Not many of us wanted to spend a lot of money going into museums. For the most part, we spent time wandering around, sitting, or eating, with confused looks on our faces. Everything we did this past weekend probably could have been done in one day. I'm not trying to complain or anything because the tours were really fun!

The field overlooking Bath.

But, from what we did see was truly beautiful. The Bath Abbey was grandeur and stunning. I was so amazed that I had to sit down in one of the pews and just take in the beauty. There was a choir practicing during my visit and it just made the atmosphere even more chilling. It really reminded me of the days when I would go to mass. But my church wasn't nearly as beautiful as Bath Abbey. It truly is a sight to see.

The 56 scenes from the life of Jesus Christ.

The stunning architecture of the Bath Abbey.

The tour of Baths was way more interesting than our tour of Edinburgh. I guess our tour guide had a lot more spunk, I guess you can say. He showed a lot of characteristics about the town that were quite interesting. Despite the fact that it was two hours also, it was a lot of fun. The weather was super wacky during our tour, though. It was raining, while the sun was shining brightly upon us.

Our tour guide!

Performers in the plaza.

Apparently, this street is famous for the adapted film versions of Jane Austen's works.

The Crescent

One interesting feature of Baths were the large number of decorate lion statues scattered throughout the town. lions symbolize the pride of the town. It used to be pigs, but I guess they changed it. The different decorations of the lion were very interesting to look at.

For the most part, we sat around this plaza in the rain, acting like fools. Apparently, I kept hitting Annalyse with my umbrella... Until I finally cracked and decided to attack her!

I really liked the Roman Baths. It showed an interesting point in history, showcasing the Roman occupation of Britain. The structures were really interesting. I think it was fascinating that the spring still runs through and that the Baths are still (technically) functional.

The shimmering glow of the coins.

My favorite part about the Roman baths was the pool that had coins all over the bottom. It looked like a sky filled with twinkling stars. It was beautiful. It was like each coin shone with the wish of the person that threw it. Stunning. Absolutely stunning. The sad part was that some bitch shushed me while I was there. I was like BITCH, YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE. No, I didn't. But I was still annoyed. She can walk away from me if she really wanted to.

That night, we didn't end up going to the Celsius Ice Bar like everyone else. We were going to get drunk in the field, but not having a light or a cell phone freaked us out. Plus, it was probably unsafe, so we ended up just taking and going to sleep.

Stratford-upon-Avon, the birthplace of William Shakespeare

2010-08-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Stratford-upon-Avon!

William Shakespeare's house.

Stratford was such a quaint town. We didn't have much time to explore, but Annalyse, Kayla, and I made the best of what we could and it was so much fun! We saw Shakespeare's house, which wasn't as spectacular as I imagined, but I guess for his time, it must have been something special. We didn't go inside because it was expensive and we were trying to conserve our money.

Eventually, we made our way to Holy Trinity Church, where the body of Shakespeare was buried. On the way there, it was pouring rain. I had lent my umbrella to Annalyse because I felt bad since she didn't have a hood and I did. Ended up sharing an umbrella with Kayla or Annalyse. I was soaked, but it was hilarious. I don't mind the rain as much, but it was pouring down so hard. But, we were more entertained that annoyed.

Not sure if you could tell, but I was pretty soaked from the rain.

Boats named after the ladies of Shakespeare.

Singin' in the rain..

Seeing his grave was really cool. Kayla made an interesting point about how his grave was more of a spectacle, rather than one that should be respected. It definitely makes sense. Nevertheless, I was still excited to see his grave. I may not be fully appreciative of William Shakespeare as much as some people, but I still appreciate literature and he is definitely one of the literary greats.

There sign above his grave states:

Good frend for lesvs sake forbeare,

To digg the dvst encloased heare.

Bleste be ye ma yt spares thes stones,

And cvrst be he yt moves my bones

Basically, it says that whoever moves his body from his original body site will be cursed. Lo and behold, his current site is not the original site of where he was buried. He was moved. Apparently, the men who did move his body died very soon after moving his body. Very creepy, I think.

After exploring, we headed over to The Courtyard Theatre, where the Royal Shakespeare Company was to perform The Winter's Tale. I thought the venue was really pretty, though it was kind of difficult to have to constantly lean over the railing in order to see the play. The play was really interesting. The first three acts were really serious, while the last two acts were comedic. It was such a sharp contrast that I felt like I wasn't watching the same play. I have my reservations about Shakespeare, though. I really like a lot of his work, but trying to understand the Elizabethan language is difficult. I wasn't able to catch all the jokes that are written in the play. Instead, I felt like I would just laugh when everyone else laughed. But other than that, I had a lot of fun in Stratford-upon-Avon. I saw Shakespeare's house and grave, and I was able to see one of his plays performed. My Shakespeare wishes have been fulfilled.

Dance all night.

2010-08-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

Facebook status: Just got back from dancing all night at the Club Fez. Bubble night, so of course we were all covered in bubbles. Laughing at drunken friends. European guys are funny and weird. Chips&cheese from the trailer of life. Then chillin' on the bench with some homies. Also, as I was talking about the sky and made everyone look up, a shooting star passed by. All in all, I can say it was an amazing night. ♥

Tonight was the first time in a really long time that I put a lot of energy into dancing. I haven't danced at a club in a really long time. Most parties are just drinking. It just felt really good to dance, dance, dance. I love how it feels to dance to the beat, the rhythm, the groove. The guy I danced with tonight was a little too touchy, though. There's limits when it comes to dancing with someone and he was just a little too touchy for my taste. I didn't like it. But other than that, the dancing was so much fun. There were bubbles everywhere and the music was fun and energetic. The DJ was way better this time than the first time I went to the Fez.

It's a great feeling when you realize that you've made some really good friends. Thank you, Cambridge for giving me the opportunity to meet some really amazing people who are just really good people and have such great personalities. I spent the end of my night sitting on a bunch with three other people, just talking about random topics. Nothing deep, just talking. But it felt comfortable and they were hilarious.

Seeing the shooting star was just perfect for the night. I was commenting on the reason why I like the sky so much is that everyone can see the same thing, such as the same star or moon. Just as I finished saying that, a shooting star flew across the sky. Everyone happened to look up at the sky because of my comment. The fact that we all saw it together was such a joy! We screamed so loud because of it. Sorry to all those that were sleeping, though.

It was a really good ending to my night. All this, I did sober. I didn't need to drink in order to have fun, which I'm thankful for. Also, I'm blessed to be in Cambridge. Everyday I think about how blessed I am.

Delay

2010-08-11T12:39:00.001-07:00

Obviously, I'm horrible at keeping a consistent blogging pace. I'm lazy to type things up and blogspot isn't necessarily convenient for such things either. I guess that's why there's a delay. Also, I've never been one to keep a blog for very long. Such can be seen with my thousand Xanga and livejournal accounts over the years. But here, it goes. I'll try to get in as much as I can.

Leaving Scotland and Fountain Abbey

2010-08-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

We had to leave Scotland early in the morning to return to Cambridge. I was saddened because the trip was so much fun and it was a great experience. I loved Scotland and I hope to return someday.

We had a stopover at Fountain Abbey, the ruinous remains of a church. I love ruins. It also serves as an amazing playground and a great insight into the past.

Short blog because there wasn't much to say since we spent most of our time on the bus. Asses were sore, backs were hurt, but we were relieved to return to Cambridge and our beds.

Required jumping photo of the site.

This was from a high spot and I was freaking out as we took this photo.

All the world's a stage.

D-Day: The hike up the Trossachs

2010-08-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

The day finally came. It was the morning of the hike up the Trossachs. It was to be the culmination of our stay in Scotland. Two and a half hours of mountainous goodness. 2 miles of wilderness terrain. I had been looking forward to this ever since I signed up for travel-study. It was to be the test of our endurance and our willpower. The terrain would be much tricker than Arthur's Seat. When we finally finished, I realized that in general, it was much easier than Arthur's Hike, which was a steep slope pretty much the entire time. In contrast, in the Trossachs, there were very few steep slopes, with the exceptional of this huge one. We were constantly maneuvering around mud, holes, streams, rocks, and bushes. It was definitely an experience. Again, there was Charlie at the top to give me some sort of gratification for this arduous hike. This time, he gave me a thumbs up after our hike up the thousands of rocks in the middle of the hike. It's comforting, actually. The end of the hike was beautiful. The top of the mountain was beautiful, overlooking Loch Katrine. Never in my life would I ever have imagined that I would hike up two mountains within two days. I had never been so proud of myself in my life. It was an amazing challenge and I hope to return again someday.

The rocky terrain. The hardest slope during the hike.

The final stretch!

Annalyse, Kayla, and I right after we finished the hike.

Overlooking Loch Katrine at the end of the hike.

Annalyse, Me, Kayla, and Alejandro.

At the end of the hike, we returned victorious.

Returning to Edinburgh, we grabbed dinner and then proceeded to get drunk as fuck. Kayla, Annalyse, and I finished a fourth (they don't sell handles nor fifths in Europe apparently). Our drunkenness resulted in us going down to the hostel bar and finally getting Zara's Hot Food Take Away with Jeff. All in all, it was a great last night to an amazing trip.

Arthur's Seat, 823 ft (251 m)

2010-08-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

Early morning hike up Arthur's Seat, which overlooked Edinburgh. But seriously... they had been telling us that it was a warm up hike to our hike in the Trossachs, which would be 2.5 hours long. The hike was ridiculously steep. That was definitely not a warm-up!

Preparing for the hike up Arthur's Seat with the group. Look at the incline!

Though, it was kind of funny hiking up with our program directors. They're much older than us, but they definitely kick assed in showing their fitness. They didn't look exhausted at all when we were at the top. But they were sure surrounded by a bunch of red-faced, panting students.

Almost finished! At the bottom of the last part of the hike.

Overlooking the bottom of the mountain.

Had just finished and realizing how much of a feat this challenge was.

I'm pretty sure I weezed up the mountain at the beginning and the end of the hike. My unfit self could barely handle it. But in the end... it was all worth it. The exhaustion, the sore-ness, the fighting of the urge to quit... Definitely worth it. It really shows your endurance and how much willpower you actually have to push yourself physically and mentally. The steepness of the mountain was around 30 to 50 degrees so I really had to push myself to finish. At the end of it, I remember Charlie giving me a handshake. That's something I will never forget. It was hard, but all that matters was that I finished it. I'm so proud that I finished. I think in the future, I would like to continue hiking up mountains. The journey is hard, but when you finally reach the end and see what you did, it's an amazing feeling and sight.

Kayla and I sitting over the edge as we look over the city.

Andy (program director), Kayla, and I.

Victory!! I did it!

Climbing day proved to be much easier and quicker, though.

Edinburgh Castle and Scottish dancing!

2010-08-07T11:30:00.001-07:00

We were pretty exhausted from the hike up Arthur's Seat, but we weren't going to just lay around and not do anything. We were only going to be in Scotland for five days total, so it was up to us to make the best out of it and spend as much time as we could exploring the place.

After we finished cleansing ourselves of the stench of victory, we left the hostel. To our surprise, there were two performers there from The Young Dads that came to give us a preview of their show. They were hilarious. Sadly, we didn't end up going to their play since we had plans for the night, but I would recommend them anyway!

Finally, the day came for us to explore Edinburgh Castle, where the queen of Scotland resides. The price to get in was ridiculous, though. 14 pounds! We probably could have spent more time in there, but we only spent about two hours. There was just so much reading around all the displays, it failed to keep our attention. Rather, we spent time treating it as another photo shoot and playground and just explored the castle.

I couldn't help but to stalk the boys in kilts.

I love war posters!

Why, hello children in kilts.

After our exploration of the castle, being such alcoholics, we decided to get drunk before we went to the Ceilidh. We were afraid that if we weren't, we just might not be that into Scottish dancing nor be able to overcome any embarrassments or reservations we had about it. I'm really glad we went, though. It was exhausting, but so much fun. I am now proud to say that I love Scottish dancing! It was an amazing experience. We were Scottish dancing... in Scotland! <3

It was a great ending to a great day. New experiences in a foreign country.

Getting my Scottish dancing on with an old man.

I lost my fish and chips virginity!

2010-08-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

Woke up early for our first official day in Scotland. We were required to take the Saints and Sinners tour to situate ourselves around Edinburgh and learn about the history. I was disappointed in it, actually. Wish we had that other tour guide in the kilt! I heard he was fun. The man was very informed, but entertainment wise? Not so much. It was two hours and the first half consisted of the entire group being soaked in the pouring rain. Two hours is just too long for a walking tour that can keep a bunch of antsy college students interested, I guess. Other than that, I got a lot of good photos out of it. I would try and listen to what the tour guide had to say, but I would get distracted or forget he was telling us a story. He was a very nice man, though. At the end of the tour, he made us sing a song about serial killers. So jolly!

There was some story about the statue of the horse peeing.

The Mound

Me in Princes Garden.

Our tour guide. Can you spot the creepy in the back?

Annalyse, Kayla, and I at the end of the tour.

At the end of our tour, we were given a break for lunch, and where do we go? That's right! McDonald's! Typical Americans, I swear. The portions are hilarious, though. Our regular sizes are their larges. It really shows how fat Americans are. I love it.

After our break, it was time to go to Rosslyn Chapel. Honestly, I was super disappointed with the church. It was under construction, so the front was ugly. It was so musty in there and the size of the church was tiny. I thought it was going to be way more magnificent than it was. Though there was an interesting story about the head mason killing his apprentice because he couldn't deal that the apprentice was way more skilled. Also, some big white circle that the producers of The Da Vinci Code left. What bitches, though. The white circle was huge. Within an hour, we were pretty much bored and we left early.

WTF, Rosslyn Chapel?!

Finally, it was time to return to Edinburgh for dinner. I had fish and chips for the very first time in my life. And oh, my goodness... where has it been all my life? It was delicious. I've been craving it ever since I've had its delicious goodness. We had it at some pub. Service was horrible, though. That needs to be fixed!

Me with my first plate of fish and chips!

After dinner, I don't even remember what we did. Probably random things to pass the time. We wanted to get alcohol, so we were running all over the city looking. Finally, we asked someone for directions. When we got to the liquor store (it was like.. 10:00:01 PM), the guy wouldn't sell it to us! Apparently, they're not allowed to sell alcohol after 10PM and he was super strict about it. So, we returned to the hostel and laid around our kitchen just talking. Even though it was a fail in the alcohol sense, we got really close that night. Closer than most of my friends. In fact, we are too close. Our conversation topics have gotten weirder and weirder ever since.

The world is my playground (and photo shoot, apparently).

2010-08-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

The ass hurter that we call a bus.

Taking the bus to Scotland was a bitch, not gonna lie. The ride was ridiculously long and coach buses are just not that comfortable. I felt like I was in an airplane. After a while, the numbness of my ass turned to pain. Probably too much information, but oh well. The trip was well worth it, though!

A beautifully adorned hotel in the Yorkshire town of Richmond.

The stop in Richmond had to be one of my favorite parts of the entire trip, though. We went to the Richmond Castle. All it was were the remnants of a once formidable stronghold. To them, it was a place of protection. For me, it was a place that I could crawl up. I felt like a kid again. When I was younger, I used to love to climb anything I could. I was such a little boy. Not a surprise when I'm the only girl of three. I still take pride in the fact that my brothers taught me how to burp on purpose. It's a real skill. So anyway... here I was, in jeans and my heeled ankle boots, climbing up as much structures as I could. The kid in me never really left, I guess you can say.

The view was amazing from all around the castle. We were just running around and taking as much photos as we could. I'm afraid of heights, but like that's going to really stop me from having an amazing experience in Europe.

Tower from Richmond Castle.

View from the top of the castle.

The dramatic person in me screams "I could've died!" when Calum jumped over me. It's a hilarious photo, though. Bless Kayla's life for taking such great action shots. But, seriously? What do I look like? A freakin' hurdle?! Speaking of which... I hate hurdles. Tried to jump them for track... Let's just say that we are not friends. Fell on my hands and got a bunch of rocks embedded in them. It was not a great moment in my life. Haha. Off tangent story.

Reaching Scotland... it was an amazing feeling. Kayla mentioned A Walk to Remember when Landon took Jamie to straddle the border in order to be 'two places at once.' Good reference. I wish it were more of that kind of feeling rather than 77 students scrambling out of the bus with all the same thoughts of their asses being sore.

Finally, when we arrived, all of us were relieved. Where do you take a bunch of Americans on their first night to Scotland? That's right! Jimmy Chung's Chinese Buffet! Apparently, it was the only place they could find that could fit all of us. Scottish Chinese food. I'm not sure if you could consider it ironic, but it was pretty funny.

After dinner, we literally ran through Edinburgh in order to reach a show in time. Running through the streets in Edinburgh was a different experience, but kind of fun in a way. I'm sure it was an odd sight for both tourists and locals, seeing a huge group of college students running around. We did catch the show in time, thankfully. Truly Medley Deeply were the performers. Musically, they were really talented. They were also hilarious and hot. I'm pretty sure my heart broke when I overheard Rachael telling some girls that they all had girlfriends.

Rather than choosing to go to a pub or a club or drinking that night, Kayla, Annalyse, and I decided to wander around Edinburgh to get a feel of the place. It was really nice. We each got gelato and walked around taking random photos. We ended up outside of Edinburgh Castle. To our surprise (and delight), there was some bagpipe show. Imagine the tumultuous lurch many bagpipes began Ye Old Lang. Then suddenly... the bursting of fireworks lighting up the sky as its boom and its glow faded into nothingness. It was an amazing sight. I was giggling and smiling... it felt like I was at Disneyland. Really, though. I'm the type of person that tears up when I watch Disneyland fireworks. It just happens.

After that, there was some parade going on where a bunch of people in kilts marched down. My first night in Scotland turned to be tiring, beautiful, and surprising. I slept happily.

Cambridge

2010-08-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

Arriving in Cambridge from London was quite difficult for Kayla, Alejandro, Annalyse, and I. Imagine four confused college students lugging ridiculously heavy suitcases. It was quite a struggle, but I'm definitely proud of us for being able to find our way through it all. The train from London to Cambridge only took an hour. One of the highlights was being able to see Platform 9 and 3/4. We sure do love our Harry Potter. My excitement can be seen here:

When we finally got to Cambridge, my expectations were definitely met and thensome. The campus is breathtaking. All the architecture of the buildings is so elegant. I had never fully imagined how beautiful the campus was going to be. Everything about it... just takes my breath away. Photos can only show so much. To experience it in person... it was just.. wow. We're currently staying in Pembroke College, which is the third oldest college in the university. My room (not sure if it's considered a dorm) is ginormous. I was surprised we were going to be given single rooms, let alone ones of such a large size. I don't have pictures of the room yet, but I'll upload one soon.

The view from my room is also quite pleasant.

After going to a banquet, which served as an introduction to the program, a bunch of PA's (program assistants) took us all to a pub. It was my very first pub and definitely an experience. I'm not much of a beer person, though. I just cannot get used to the taste. I ended up getting some alcoholic cider, which was actually surprisingly delicious. Thanks to Luke (a PA) for the recommendation.

Many days, whenever we're bored, we'll end up wandering around the town, going to random stores and what have you. I don't have many pictures of the town, but it's very lively. I never realized how much of a tourist-y town Cambridge is. But it's also very convenient that everything is available from a walking distant. I love it.

The second day at Cambridge was quite relaxing. It was mostly spent with my group trying to get used to everything and wandering aimlessly around town. We even spent some time at the college cafe, which was delicious!

We had our very first formal dinner. It had to be the most elegant dinner I had been to. The set up was if you took Harry Potter to a classy dinner, rather than one of wizarding robes. Awesome, nonetheless. It was like a five course meal or so, leading from some crab appetizer, to the main course, to the two part dessert (what they call pudding), to a cup of coffee at the end. All this was served with much wine, both white and red. Wine is still hard for me to take in, but I definitely prefer it over beer. It loosened me up, though. (Stole the photo of us four at the formal from Kayla)

After the formal dinner, it was time for a scene change. Off we went to some club. It was called Fat Poppadaddy's. Weird name, I know. But it was my first club in Europe and it was really cool! It's very different, though. Here, there is no freak dancing. People dance for the sake of dancing and fun and I enjoyed it very much. We ordered some drinks. My favorite was called the Casablanca Cooler. The Long Island Tea was too strong for me. I just chugged it so I didn't have to deal with the taste anymore. Here's some of us outside of the club.

My favorite part so far was when a bunch of us went punting, which is basically steering a boat down the river with a long stick. Since our group had six people, we basically had to fend of for ourselves and punt on our own. The first punter, basically failed and we were stuck in the beginning for a while. When we finally got through to the bridge and outside of the starting point, the entire cafe that was posted at the edge of the river clapped for us. It was embarrassing, but I'm glad we were able to serve as some form of entertainment. The whole lot of us punted for a total of two hours, taking turns on the way. It was hilarious. Surprisingly, I was somewhat good at it and could manage on my own. Though, there were a few parts where I almost fell in the water. It was hilarious. We also sang many songs as we were on the boat, such as songs that gondola people would sing. We also came up with our own rendition of Row Your Boat, replacing Row with the word Punt.

After finishing our punting expedition, we saw a hookah sign and had made plans to go, but we later changed our minds and ended up at Revolution, some sort of bar/restaurant. The drinks were delicious and there was a 2 for 1 deal that Tuesday. Basically, I got really drunk and made a fool of myself. I made them pinky promise to be friends. Yeah, I'm that ridiculous. We decided to go to Revolution every Tuesday.

By the end of the night, we had a table full empty cups, stomachs full of alcohol, and a solidified group of friends. I was happy. I came back to my room in my drunken state and knocked out for a good 12 hours.

Tomorrow, we leave for Scotland for five days. I won't be bringing my laptop, so communication will be significantly cut off. So far, Cambridge is amazing. I know that by the end of this trip, I will not want to return to the US, even though I know I'll have to. We'll be staying in Edinburgh, in the heart of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, the largest performance arts festival in the world. It'll definitely be an experience and I can't wait to share the experience with everyone.

DRUNK.

2010-08-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW. YOUDONT EVENK NOW. I ENVERWANNA ELEAV.E

First night out

2010-07-31T17:30:00.000-07:00

It's my first night in Europe. Officially out in a foreign country alone, with only my friends to count on. Here, I can no longer rely on my parents to pull me out of any rut that I run into along the way. It's quite an adventure. We've basically been dropped off in a foreign country to fend for ourselves. So far, we have learned how to manage the metro system, which is surprisingly easy. It's just so insane to imagine doing it on a daily basis, when such things do not in exist in the little small exurb of Tracy, which I call "home."

London is breathtakingly rugged - in which I mean that in the midst of all the beauty and the splendor, there is trash littered across the floor in many corners. But with that, comes all the character that London and its people have. It's quite a sight to see.

People become amazed when they learn that we're from California. Apparently, that is the state where every American wants to go. But it also makes you realize how Americans are stereotyped in the minds of Europeans. We are seen as people who live lavish lives, are spoiled, and have much drama - as show on the television show, "The OC." We were even asked if our lives were like that and if we were spoiled. Oftentimes, we stereotype people, but it's a different experience to be on the other side of the telescope.

Being in London for a few hours has already opened my eyes on some things. I cannot fathom how much change I will endure as my trip goes on.

Fast approaching

2010-07-20T20:15:00.001-07:00

I'm leaving Tracy and returning to socal this coming Monday. I am excited. I've done nothing but watch movies and be a bum this summer. Being away from home means I won't be as lazy. I means I'll actually be happy and have people to hang out with. I'll be staying in Huntington Beach with my friend for a way until we leave for Europe next Friday. I am so excited for it. I can't believe it's actually happening. All my life I've dreamt of going to Europe. I used to be obsessed with those Mary Kate & Ashley movies where they would go to different locales. They ones in Europe were always my favorite. I'm excited. I'm happy. Can't wait for a new experience! :)

Dreams

2010-07-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about the weird dream I just had. Now that time has passed, I can only remember a few tidbits. The weirdest part was me befriending a family of mice and I was helping them. There was some battle with a cat, who was supposed to rescue them but ended up being a coward. I think he was supposed to defend them from some other evil mouse. I hid them behind a bunch of kitchen supplies in the kitchen. I think the last thing I remember was playing with some sort of sugar container before I woke up to the vibrating sound of my cellphone on my bed stand. My heart was beating so fast. It was pounding so hard against my chest that I might as well have been running a marathon at that moment. I guess that's what they mean when you go into REM sleep. Deep sleep. Heavy breathing. Heart's racing. It's an amazing thing, actually.

Anyway... this dream. I don't even know. All my life, I noticed that I have the weirdest dreams. I don't have normal dreams really... They're just so strange and I'm not sure I get them. I think that if I took any hallucinogenics (not that I ever would) that my trips would be insane. Hahaha.

Things to do in Paris

2010-06-30T21:41:00.001-07:00

http://www.timeout.com/paris/features/27/20-great-things-to-do-in-paris

Random planning for Paris

2010-06-30T17:52:00.001-07:00

View Paris Destinations 2010 in a larger map

sensitivity

2010-06-24T14:17:00.001-07:00

Am I too sensitive up to the point that it is the main reason I fight with my parents? I clash with them too often, especially my Dad. It's hard for me to understand certain things. Maybe they mean something else and I don't get them from that. But I shouldn't always be that's in the wrong. I get it. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. But I shouldn't be yelled at for such a small mistake...

Things to look forward to

2010-06-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

In this time of my boring summer while I'm stuck at home, I have quite a few things to look forward to. I don't know if I'm just in some rut right now that I can't seem to find anything to do or be happy about. I know, I know. They say be happy and live in the present. But right now... all I can do is look towards the future.

1. My summer in Europe. I absolutely cannot wait. With the addition of spending my 20th birthday in Paris, this just might be the best time of my life.
2. Phoenix, Grizzly Bear, and Girls perform at the Hollywood Bowl in September.
3. Doing a KUCI Radio Show, "Savoir le musique," with my co-host Sharon.
4. Hopefully getting an internship at a studio in LA. <3
5. Getting my license and my car.
6. Returning to the working world with a job. I am in definite need of one.

guilty

2010-06-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

Skipped my morning workout and kinda eat more than I was supposed to last night and this morning so now all I'm feeling is tons of guilt. I need to stay with my regiment more. I can't help it, though. Anything potatoes or anything ice cream is such a big weakness of mine.

weightloss

2010-06-21T01:56:00.000-07:00

Making it a goal for myself to lose weight this summer. No more being lazy and being a potato. It's time I finally started. Starting today, it's a road for healthy eating and healthy living.

I'll document my road here.

Hello Insanity workout. I definitely need to start sleeping and waking up earlier.

goalsgoalsgoals

2010-06-20T23:41:00.001-07:00

I must stop making lists of goals I want to complete, but never do. It's time that I actually start completing the lists. If not fully, but have at least made attempts to complete them all. This starts now.

Relationships

2010-06-18T23:14:00.000-07:00

I've never been in a relationship. So many times, I ask myself why. I try to justify it by saying that I'm too busy for a relationship and that I'm happy being single. Truthfully, those are just lies I tell myself and other people just to make myself feel better. With the few situations I've had with guys, it makes me not very trusting of guys. I don't think I really trust guys at all. I readily put them in the 'friend' or 'brother' category so that I don't have to risk getting hurt at all. Sometimes I wonder when I'll find someone who's willing to make an effort to be with me or who I will allow in my heart. Blah.

Toy Story 3

2010-06-18T16:46:00.000-07:00

You know those movies that just stick to you emotionally and mentally? Yeah, Toy Story 3 did just that. I felt like my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. Even now, as I'm typing this post, I'm getting emotional. This movie worked its way to the aching core of my heart where my longing for my childhood lays. Watching the movie... felt like my childhood say goodbye to me. That why there are moments when I can go back to and still feel like a kid, there are so many moments where I know I can't go back to. How can we go back to seeing the world as magical and using our imagination when we have become jaded with the knowledge of the world's cruelty? This movie was absolutely amazing. We all grew up with this series. Entering the college world and saying goodbye to our childhood. My heart is still aching as I think about this movie.

bunnybunnybunny

2010-06-16T02:39:00.000-07:00

I want a Holland Lop bunny. They're so adorable. But I'll wait until I'm back from Europe and have a stable income!

I just neeeeeeeeeeeeeed one in my life.

Photographs

2010-06-15T03:22:00.001-07:00

I wish I had a camera right now. I'm sad that mine had to break right before the end of the year and right before summer.

I Will Wait For You

2010-06-15T03:19:00.000-07:00

If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're back beside me, till I'm holding you
Till I hear you sight here in my arms

Anywhere you wander, anywhere you go
Every day remember how I love you so
In your heart belive what in my heart I know
That forevermore I will wait for you

The clock will tick away the hours one by one
Then the time will come when all the waiting's done
The time when you return and find me here and run
Straight to my waiting arms

If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're here beside me, till I'm touching you
And forevermore sharing you love

_______

From Jacques Demy's film, Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (1964)

Dedicated to that one special person, who is somewhere out there. Just haven't met him yet. Someday, though. Someday.

To Sir, With Love

2010-06-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone,
But in my mind,
I know they will still live on and on,
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try,

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters,
That would soar a thousand feet high,
To Sir, with Love

The time has come,
For closing books and long last looks must end,
And as I leave,
I know that I am leaving my best friend,
A friend who taught me right from wrong,
And weak from strong,
That's a lot to learn,
What, what can I give you in return?

If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start,
But I, would rather you let me give my heart,
To Sir, with Love

Comets

2010-06-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

As I showed this song to my dad, my mommy and I were dancing around the hotel room being fools. It was hilarious. Good times with my family. I missed this.

Halfway done packing.

2010-06-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

I have moved around too many times. It gets tiring. Anyway, I'm going to miss all my friends from socal. It was a really great year and it passed by too quickly. I think I'll make a 2nd year recap later. I have this thing where I like to reminisce. It's an activity that I do quite often. I wonder if that's a bad thing. Is it bad to live in the past? I'm just a nostalgic person, I guess.

Going to sleep early. Saturday will be a long day of packing, but now that FIFA World Cup has started, I've taken to watching all the matches. That means that tomorrow, I will be waking up at 630am just to watch the first match.

Goodnight.

Thursday - Friday

2010-06-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

The next couple days will be filled with: Studying for Italian. Lakers vs. Celtics at Buffalo Wild Wings. Last party of the year. All-nighter (a unnecessary one, that is), FIFA's first match: Mexico vs. South Africa, Italian final, then packing. Moving back home on Saturday. Definitely not excited to leave Southern California, where my heart is now.

Sleep

2010-06-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

So fail on pulling an all nighter. I ended up taking an hour and half nap, which ended up extending to a 4 hour nap. In my book, that is an equivalent of a full night's sleep. But I just got through my English final. It was pretty easy. Hopefully my analysis on the quotes were good enough.

I have one more hour until my history final, so I'm just sitting around getting in some last minute studying. Hopefully, things work out well for me for this final, also. So wish me luck! :)

First all nighter of the quarter.

2010-06-07T22:17:00.001-07:00

Bring it on, baby.

Heart skipped a beat

2010-06-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

Please don't say we're done
When I'm not finished
I could give you so much more
Make you feel, like never before
Welcome, they said welcome to the floor

It's been a while
And you've found someone better
But I've been waiting too long to give this up
The more I see, I understand
But sometimes, I still need you

Sometimes, I still need you

I was struggling to get in
Left waiting outside your door
I was sure
You'd give me more

No need to come to me
When I can make it all the way to you
You made it clear
You weren't near
Near enough for me

Heart skipped a beat
And when I caught it you were out of reach
But I'm sure, I'm sure
You've heard it before

Things to do this summer

2010-06-06T15:12:00.001-07:00

My search for the perfect wave is substituted by the search for the perfect way to spend my summer of rest&relaxation.

1. Make pillows for the apartment
2. Run everyday
3. Work on finishing movie list
4. Finish La Divina Commedia by Dante Alighieri
5. Reconnect with old friends
6. Apply for internships
7. Learn basic French to get around in Paris
8. Buy new camera for British documentary filmmaking class
9. Paint more
10. Create wall art/decor for apartment
11. Buy record player/start vinyl collection
12. Learn to be happier without relying on people for happiness
13. Search for new music for radio show
14. Eat healthier
15. Attempt to learn how to play the acoustic guitar or bass guitar
16. Read more books
17. Learn for fun - "take" free online university course
18. French New Wave marathon
19. Read all of Shakespeare's sonnets and plays to prepare self to watch plays in Stratford and the Globe Theatre (no works can express my excitement)
21. Study tourist spots the UK and France to prepare my summer in Europe
22. Finish Dexter
23. Learn how to make tiramisu

Young hearts run free

2010-06-06T12:17:00.001-07:00

Disenchanted by the mundane life of studying. I just want it all to be over. Only one more week. The final stride. I can't believe that soon... half of our undergraduate college career will be over. Time is passing by too quickly. I'm not ready to leave everything yet. I know it's too early to being depressed about it. But when time passes by so quickly, I cannot help but think about the future. I fear the future.

I'm not looking forward to leaving Irvine this summer. Most of my close friends know how much I hate going home. I complain about it. I tell them of the pointless tears. They know of the state of depression I get in. It's sad how distanced I have become from my friends back home. Rarely do any of us stay in contact. I begin to get sad thinking about how the past two real vacations that I've been back home have been me staying indoors watching movies. It's depressing and I hate going back to it. It's hard when you're the only one making any effort to hang out. When your friends are completely different. I know during the summer, I'll be longing to be reunited with my friends from socal. All I can look forward to is Europe. The six glorious weeks of exploration, discover, and learning.

Endless hours of studying

2010-06-06T00:09:00.001-07:00

Despite how quick this quarter seemed to pass by, the hours of studying seem to make it pass by slowly. I just need to get through the studying and the finals. Then, it'll be smooth sailing from here. I think my carpal tunnel syndrome is getting worse My hands/wrists are aching more often. Ouch.

Bummed out.

2010-06-03T15:58:00.001-07:00

After scrambling to finish my papers, I still didn't finish in time. I still have my film paper left. I had to turn down Sharon and not go to the Jimmy Kimmel taping. Seriously bummed out. I'm frustrated that this final paper is due a week before the actual finals week. I wish I had more time.

Schedule of my final couple weeks of school.

2010-06-02T18:18:00.001-07:00

Tonight (Wednesday): Finish paper on A Passage to India. Start film paper. Veronese Cafe with Sharon, Pham, Kayla, and Azadeh. ♥
Tomorrow (Thursday): Work/finish film paper. Turn in A Passage to India paper. Jimmy Kimmel taping featuring Miike Snow.
Friday: Finalize film paper. Turn in film paper. Turn in Italian paper. Party at professor's house. Neon Indian show at Natural History Museum.
Saturday: Study all day for history final. Read The Ebb Tide.
Sunday: Study more for history final. The XX at the Wiltern.
Monday: Study for history and English final.
Tuesday: English and History Final
Wednesday: Study for Italian final. Pack.
Thursday: Study for Italian final. Pack.
Friday: Italian Final. Pack. Disneyland's premiere of World of Color
Saturday: Move-out. Back home to norcal.

Papers, papers, papers.

2010-06-02T17:23:00.001-07:00

So many of them. I'm tired of them. I want to do away with them.

If tomorrow a golden train came to take you away...

2010-05-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

Music video for Justin Nozuka's Golden Train

One of my favorite study songs. It's so soothing. Justin Nozuka has great soul in his voice and definitely one of my favorite artists.

Coca Cola in the Philippines

2010-05-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

I'm currently writing an analysis on this video. It's a video that attempts to show Coca Cola's positive impact on the Philippine culture. I'm discussing how it is also a reflection of this so-called 'White Man's burden,' an ideal that was held by many during the US colonization of the Philippines in the early 20th century.

The opening is a performance of one of the more popular Filipino dances, Tinikling. One thing I found intriguing about this video is the shots of the culture. The title shot that says "Pearl of the Orient" is superimposed atop a still of the Subic Naval Base, where my parents used to work and where much of my childhood in the Philippines had taken place. It's quite interesting.

I change shapes just to hide in this place

2010-05-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

Miike Snow at the Henry Fonda Theatre in LA tomorrow! Can't wait! They're such a great band and I've been wanting to see them for a long time since I missed their performance at Coachella. Going with Sharon, one of my best homies!

Hell week.

2010-05-29T21:27:00.001-07:00

I have 5 papers due this coming week - short, long, medium. Hopefully I can get through this week.

Speaking of hell, I'm sitting in my room at my house (not my apartment), and all I can think about is how hot I am. The open window does nothing to cool the room. The heat is pretty distracting. I wonder if it is hot everywhere else in California right now.

Congratulations on graduating!

2010-05-29T19:07:00.000-07:00

To my little brother. We're so proud of you.

So full from the grilled oysters, kare-kare, and BBQ. I'm sad that I have to fly back to school. I miss home cooked meals and just not having to cook in general. I definitely took that for granted.

How easy it to forgive?

2010-05-29T02:51:00.001-07:00

I used to easily forgive people. No matter what they did. These days, I find myself becoming colder - hardening. I don't know if I can forgive as easily as I used to. My best friend told me that out of all my friends, I'm probably the one that has changed the most. Have I really? I'm so confused about everything.

Quick snapshot of my life

2010-05-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd document something about my life right now. I want to be able to look back on how my life used to be and think, 'Wow, I used to be like that?' Though, now that I think about it, that is something that is pretty easy to do. We are always evolving. Always changing. As our relationships change with other people, we begin to whirl into this blend of friendships, acquaintances, and enemies.

Within a year or so, I've lost two really great friends. It's bittersweet. I'm glad I know the type of people they truly are, but I cannot help but think about how much I miss them. I'm such a forgiving person so it has become a struggle for me to not forget about everything and just fix things. But I know that I cannot go back, despite my constant longing to. It hurts, though. Whenever I think about it, I wonder how could these people that I trusted so much, hurt me so badly?

One thing that I know that will never change is that music has saved my life. I know it's such a cliche thing to say. How can something that is merely a combination of sounds, tremors, and vibrations have the ability to save my life? It's almost dumbfounding, but the fact is fact. It really has. It something that I can always go back to. Maya Angelou once said, "Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness." So many times, I have found myself crying in my room. Yet, my only companion, my only solace - is my music. I am fortunate enough to have great friends that expose me and open me to a greater world of music. For that, I am truly and utterly grateful. Whenever I go to concerts, I come back with the greatest rush, the greatest adrenaline. The lingering happiness to see a music artist. It doesn't last long, but that fleeting feeling is worth it. The feeling then returns after another show. It's like an addiction. Withdrawals, with feelings of want and need, rush back.

One last thought. For a year, I had been going over and over in my head, should I leave being a biology major? It was this internal struggle I had with myself. All my life I had dreamt of being a doctor. How could I turn my back on it when it was all I ever thought of? I had the struggle of pleasing my parents, too. But after everything that is happened, I am glad to say that I have become a film and media studies and history double major. Despite the endless nights of papers... despite getting carpal tunnel syndrome... despite the frustration... I am honestly happy. My future may not be stable, but I know I will be happy with doing something that I love. I am determined to make a life of being a film historian and a professor and I know I will achieve that goal and dream.

A fresh new start.

2010-05-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Looking back on my old xangas, livejournals, and even my current tumblr, I realized it was time for me start anew. I need a place where I can vent. It will be my personal alcove where my writings can bounce off the walls. My own personal writing desk where my words tremble with emotion. A place to call my own. Though most of my blogs will also have visuals. Let's face it, I'm more of a visual person. I wish I could fully express myself with words, but it can be difficult for me. So prepare for the random thoughts, the reminiscent thoughts filled with nostaglia, the happy thoughts, the depressed thoughts, and the tired, exhausted thoughts.